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| 06:11pm 14/12/2024 |
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After some consideration, I've decided to go FRIENDS ONLY. I'll keep old entries open to the public, but if you'd like to keep up with my goings-on (or lack thereof), please leave me a comment in this entry. |
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| My Experience with Augusten Burroughs |
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| 03:41pm 03/05/2008 |
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mood:  paranoid wasn't on the list
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We all know who he is, right? Author of Running with Scissors? Well, he also has a few books of essays recounting interesting moments in his life. I picked one up called Magical Thinking (wait, aren't book titles and movies supposed to be underlined? Oh, well. I don't fucking care at the moment). I've read a few of the essays, and they are interesting and amusing. So I picked it up today and continued my read.
Big mistake.
Are you one of those people who hear/read/see something and then wonder what you would do if that happened to you? I am. I am paranoid. Sometimes so paranoid I'm surprised I can leave the house.
So I begin reading, and start with the essay about the rat/thing he finds in his tub. He freaks out and kills it, and calls up his friend's boyfriend, who is a plumber. Apparently, vermin climb up through water spouts all the time. All the time. A lot of the time, they climb up and get stuck in your shower head. You could be showering through vermin. You could contract hantavirus. So of course, I go inspect my bathtub. We have very small little pipes, and for a second, I breathed a sigh of relief. And then I remembered that vermin have loose connective tissue, and if they can fit their head in a space, they can fit the rest of their body in there. So large rats may be out, but for the most part, they can get into my pipes. They can climb through and get stuck in my shower head or fall into the water when I'm taking a bath.
And the next story? Is about this bubble that appeared on the roof of his mouth and started hurting. So he popped it with a thumb tack and then there was a hole there. So he goes to the dentist, and the dentist cuts the roof of his mouth off, does a biopsy, and closes him back up. The biopsy was negative. I don't believe I've mentioned the fact that I had an infection in my mouth last week. Well, I did. The roof of my mouth. Small little bumps/blister/scrape-thingies that 10 days of antibiotics have cleared up. But after reading that, I went and brushed my teeth (where I stared suspiciously at the shower/bath tub/sink), and when I was done, my tongue went immediately to the roof of my mouth, where I can still sort of feel a rough area where the abrasion was.
I came out of the bathroom to rant and freak out to my mother (who has a new short, spiky 'do that is platinum blonde with black tips), who told me to stop reading the book. So because she would not share in my fear (and almost-hyperventilation), I raced to my computer.
I thought I would share these things with you, because the more people I tell, the less terrified I feel. Which is why I'm making this public, so the paranoia can leak out to everyone, and not just you lucky people on my flist. Also, the more terrified everyone else is, the better I feel about myself. Because I'm evil.
And so is Augusten Burroughs.
EDIT: Because I didn't feel the need to post right after this one: I want two of some pet animal so I can name them Sodom and Gomorrah. |
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| WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK???? |
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| 06:18pm 30/01/2008 |
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mood:  angry
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So we all know that Michael Bay is doing a Friday the 13th film, yes? I think I mentioned it once, but I didn't make a big deal out of it because I'm not into the franchise (big dumb shark, yada yada yada...).
I'm sitting here in my room, and Attack of the Show is on in the living room. And I hear the name Michael Bay. I immediately roll my eyes...and then I hear the words "Nightmare on Elm Street" and "remake" and "franchise". I think my heart stopped. WHY THE FUCK IS MICHAEL BAY REMAKING THE ENTIRE FUCKING FRANCHISE? WHY IS HE ALLOWED TO TOUCH FREDDY AT ALL????
I have lost my will to live. |
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| Just Like a Tattoo |
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| 08:08pm 28/01/2008 |
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Yes, I just quoted a Jordan Sparks song. So what?
So, High School Musical is responsible for many things:
-learning that it's okay to be yourself
-the value of friendship
-20-somethings perving over underage (and underage-acting) actors and actresses
-slashing Chad/Ryan
-me actually checking the disney channel shows for appearances, and sometimes watching even when there are none
-me listening to radio disney
Yeah, that last one baffles me, as well. And because of listening to radio disney, I will have Rascal Flatts stuck in my head. Why the fuck is Rascal Flatts on radio disney??? |
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| Guess what I have? |
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| 05:58pm 28/01/2008 |
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Wireless internet....which is going just as slow as my dial-up. I'll try it in the kitchen later, because I have an extra bar on my phone in there, and I'm going through US Cellular. But I don't care at the moment because I'm online...in my room.
...and my brother is still bugging me. |
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| Dreams and comics |
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| 12:42pm 13/01/2008 |
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Apparently Bobby has the first edition of the Frank Miller Daredevil. He texted me yesterday afternoon. Didn't get it because I didn't have my phone on. And then around 2 this morning, he texted me and asked if I was up. I can't remember if I was. At one point last night, my brother was snoring, and then all of a sudden said, 'Jesus is a pervert'. I start laughing and mom says he's asleep, and then he goes, 'Right, Leah?' And I laugh harder, and mom tells me to be quiet so I don't wake him, and he told us he wasn't asleep. He'd just woken up from a dead sleep and blurted that out.
When I finally fell asleep, I had a dream that I was infiltrating what seemed to be a police station, filled with vampires and other creepy crawlies. I went from room to room, and they were everywhere. One hallway had a bunch of kids in paintball outfits, and I didn't know what they were because they were wearing helmets. I finally get to where I need to be, which is this kinda spa room where there are relaxing massaging beds with curtained walls that, if you stand, comes to your waist. So I grab me one, and these two kids (monsters of some kind but they look normal) stand up on theirs (which is at the foot of mine) and start talking to me, like they so often do when you're on a bus or plane or in a booth at a restaurant. They're total snobs, and immediately recognize me as a human. I tell them to mind their own business, and the boy demands I let him smell my wrist (apparently that's how you tell) and I'm all, 'No! Go away!' Finally, the person I was waiting for sits down in a chair beside my bed and tells them to leave me alone. She's a seer, and has a book I need.
We leave, and go to this other location where we meet up with some other creepy crawlie do-gooders. We hide in the parking lot and watch this door. Not sure what's in the building, but you have to be supernatural of some kind to get in. You stand in front of the door and wave or tap a green glowstick against it and it lets you in. How do I get in, you ask? I have the book. Which apparently tricks the sensor. So me and this asian dude go in, and immediately pull our guns and pull the seer inside. That's when I woke up.
When I went to bed again, I had dreams that were so confusing, my brain can't make sense of them. At one point, I'm living with Tabby and a radio station calls me at my old number and I miss the opportunity to win something. At at some other point, my brain fast-forwards through another story by showing a comic book being flipped through. Weird. |
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| My brother just lost his groove |
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| 06:05pm 09/01/2008 |
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music: my bro playing 'Paint it Black' on GH3
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Stolen from my lovey . It did not break my comp, but took a credit-length song on Guitar Hero 3 to finish loading. Which is why I didn't bother to try to refresh to a new one. I took out a few, but there are some that I have no idea what they are and I left them in.
( My Interests Collage! )
And after another song (this time on Rock Band), apparently this is what I blog about. There's a very yummy pic of Eli Roth towards the end.
( What I've been journaling about ) |
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| I no longer have any CSI icons |
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| 10:36pm 23/11/2007 |
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But I have room for them. I should remedy that. So I was cold, and put on my Dead! hoodie. Sat back down at the comp and reached for the mouse. That's when I realized that I hadn't washed this in awhile, because there's snot on the cuff. Yes, it's gross. No, I don't remember the last time I wore it, but I know it had to have been in the past three weeks or so because there's no way I would have wiped my nose on my sleeve when H was around. But I know I must have been crying, because it's not like it's super boogers or anything and I don't make a habit out of using my clothes as substitutes for facial tissues. It was probably at work or something.
Anyway, now that you've been exposed to my grossness, the reason for this post. My first thought upon seeing this was, 'Ugh. Gross! This needs to be washed!' My second was, 'Wait, I should wear this more often! Because if I'm murdered or something and it gets taken from my body, the police will be able to identify that it belonged to me by my snot! The killer could be an MCR fan and decide to keep it or something!' Yes, I have been watching too much CSI. Why do you ask? But my THIRD thought? 'If I killed someone with a Dead! hoodie on, I'd leave it. Because it would be funny.' Yes, I'm creepy. If you didn't know that, you clearly haven't been paying attention. |
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| WHAT?? |
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| 02:44pm 22/11/2007 |
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mood: bitchy
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So I thought I would check out ESplatter before I got offline, because I'd forgotten that it existed. And what do I find, my freaky darlings? THEY'RE MAKING A LOST BOYS 2! With Corey Feldmen! I don't care what he says, I don't trust it. And I don't like the idea of it. |
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| I don't like people who talk to me in italics. |
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| 02:32pm 22/11/2007 |
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mood: bored
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Monday: almost 70, light breeze, fucking beautiful out.
Tuesday: so foggy and drizzly, I thought I was in a preview for The Mist
Wednesday: Snows. Sticks. Freezes.
Today: Windy, snow still on ground.
Fuck you, Iowa.
Last Friday, I opened another Neopets account, just so I could play the games. Yesterday I put him in a hotel for the maximum of 28 days, because I'm never online anymore. And I named him Azazel.
And now, a conversation in my house.
Mom: Dad's gonna be sick! Not only did he eat half a pie, but he just ate a pumpkin cookie and a piece of carrot cake!
Me: That's what you're supposed to do on Thanksgiving.
Mom: Eat a bunch of junk? Good thing I didn't buy him more!
Joey: Did you just say, 'good thing I didn't buy him a whore'?
Mom: *laughs* Yeah, good thing. He woulda ate that, too!
I love my inappropriate family.
Now I must go watching CSI season 7. Because there's nothing going on online and my baby's spending quality holiday time with her brother. |
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| My Haikus are Freakin' Intense |
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| 10:55pm 09/11/2007 |
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mood:  bouncy
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(as i was typing my title, i put 'frankin' instead of 'freakin'. methinks i need to get back to fandom)
(realized you can't really tell that there's a bag of salt in front of the car on my icon unless you look closely)
I had witty shit to say. Witty, clever, entertaining shit. But by the time this page loaded, it had all flown out of my head. Warning: this is rambly and probably very boring.
( Week in Review )
I need to know what you want for xmas, Jess, Nina, Meg, and Amanda (if she reads this). If you don't know specifics, give me themes. I have to start buying/budgeting for xmas now, since we get three paychecks this month. |
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| PANIC BUTTON! |
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| 10:15pm 04/11/2007 |
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mood: sad
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I miss her. She's been gone 5 hours and i don't know if I can sleep. When I think about her I can't breathe. Looking at pictures helps, but it reminds me that we didn't finish the disposable camera. Just when I think I can't cry anymore, a tear randomly rolls down my cheek. And I remember she kissed my tears away. And I cry more.
Un-teary sidenote: When I'm bored, I skim your journals looking for mentions of me. |
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| *hums a tune you can't hear* |
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| 11:28am 21/10/2007 |
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mood: grumpy
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I hate my period. I hate cramps even more. So I stayed home last night, and even though I didn't go to the girls, I still woke up at 8:30. With no Henry jumping on me or little girls running through the living room. And I was having a nummy dream about my girlfriend that was interrupted by Conan O'Brien delivering us pizza. If I hadn't woken up, I probably could have gotten rid of him (even if it meant resorting to violence). |
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| dad doesn't know what this world's coming to |
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| 06:05pm 18/10/2007 |
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not bothering to use caps. i'm sitting on the floor reaching up to type because the neighbor kid's playing video games and sitting in the comp chair.
6 days until my baby gets here. i. am. going. crazy.
someone stole the baby cow at a&e in des moines. it wasn't me. i swear. |
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| Welcome to Castle Anthrax |
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| 08:25am 14/10/2007 |
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mood: groggy
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I'm up and my body isn't happy with that. But I can't count the number of times I actually woke up before giving up. I'm at the girls'. Finally gave up when Henry jumped on my heart. Now we're watching Monty Python and the Holy Grail. It's raining. Really don't have much to say. Oreos hate Amanda. Nina can't make coffee. Jess is still asleep. I stepped in poop.
10 days until my baby gets here!!!! |
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| Kill him now kill him now oh my god shit |
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| 07:47pm 01/10/2007 |
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mood:  excited
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*points up* That was me just now watching 'Dexter'. Forgot to mention that the season started last night. Joey and I are just now getting around to watch it. And in 12 minutes--'Heroes'! Which is the purpose of this update so close to the first. Kring has announced another writer/director for an ep of the spinoff 'Heroes-Origins'. We already know Kevin Smith will be doing it. But guess who else, my freaky darlings? ELI ROTH!!!!!!!! I squeed. And then cursed myself for not checking my flist for weeks at a time. *does dance of joy* |
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| I'm tired of these motherfuckin' zombies on my motherfuckin' plane! |
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| 07:29pm 01/10/2007 |
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mood: chipper
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Seriously, there's a new movie called Flight of the Living Dead. Zombies...on a plane.
I learned some valuable lessons this weekend. Okay, maybe not lessons. Facts, tibits, and brick-a-brack for your brain.
1)Magna Doodle is the future of storyboards
2)Everyone needs someone to sleep with (courtesy of ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) viandebaiser
3)I enjoy saying, 'Faggoty fags'
4)If I'm not careful, I will become a Doctor/Jack shipper, instead of Jack/Ianto
I probably could have learned more, but I spent Sunday watching an 'America's Next Top Model' marathon. 22 days tomorrow until my girlfriend gets here. Am super excited.
Speaking of my baby, I stole this from her.
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| Dancin' with myself |
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| 01:30pm 16/09/2007 |
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At Jess and Nina's. Waiting for them to get ready so we can go shopping. I just want to go look at halloween stuff. And I told them they could do my make-up later. Last night we podcasted. Should have it up soon, though I doubt it's interesting to anyone but us.
I miss my girlfriend. She's at work right now and I'm waiting for her to call. I believe we only have 39 days left, baby.
I had planned on going home and writing all day. It's probably not gonna happen now. Then again, I probably would have ended up finishing second season of Supernatural instead, anyway.
I want to tell you about what happened last night, but it would ruin the podcast. I'll give you a teaser: near death experience.
Jess needs to pour some draino down her bathroom sink. It is clogged. And I love her shampoo.
Nina found her true bag of holding!
Casting call: Anyone in the I-Town/DSM area who can play Satan? Shoot me an email. We need a Satan. For film purposes. But be aware that you will be humiliated. And possibly asphyxiate on dry ice and/or aerosol deodorant.
Also, if you have any questions or topics for our podcasts, feel free to let us know. We may even read yours online! Send anything to magicalham@gmail.com. |
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| Flaming sword swallower. Get it?? |
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| 10:47pm 08/09/2007 |
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At Jess and Nina's. Drank butterbeer. Giggled waaaaaaay too much at The Walmart. Filmed stuff. I am the greatest Harry Potter EVA!!!!!!! As soon as Jess gets the software, you can all see it on youtube. Along with sexy, slutty, drunk Hermoine. Oh, also borrowing Jess' photoshop disc. Kick ass! Trying to stay up in case my gf calls. Watching 'To Wong Fu'. Can't think of anything else to say. |
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3 (75.0%)